My Prison

I always hate coming home. It makes it hard to put the past behind me. Too many reminders of Dad, my mom's constant flow of stories. Its like a past life, like someone else's life. I try to forget how much i miss him, but now being stuck here i have no choice but to remember him, remember this house. I've kind of been running from this place for the past couple of years, finding as many things i could to stay busy. It reflects back on me. What I've done with my life in the past 2 1/2 years since he died, and if he'd be disappointed in the choices i've made. There isn't an escape, no distractions, just home and my thoughts.

Whats on my mind

The end of another semester,
Friends are tired of hearing me bitch about it,
But it lies heavy on my heart,
And for now thats where it will stay,
So understand that
What i'm feeling is hurt and sadness
And i can't find it in me to feign happiness
I don't have the desire to.
Just know that its not your fault
And there isn't necessarily anything
you can do to fix it
Just let it run this course
Because i have to deal with it
By myself.
On my own.
On my time.

Should it come to frustrate you
Or offend you
Those were not my intentions
You are entitled to be angry
Because this isnt my character
Just the tipping point of my emotions
Which i've stored up and have begun to overflow
But I've got to let it out
If i'm ever gonna find the strength
To let it go.